Choreographing the Dance

     I have this thing that I do sometimes in my head. Sometimes I'll think through hypothetical situations and what my reactions would be. This could be a situation that might not ever occur.  It's like I'm choreographing the dance of our interaction before it ever begins.  This is especially true in situations where there might be conflict. The funny thing is that I usually think "well if they say this then I'm gonna say this" and so on, and I end up getting mad about a situation that might not even ever happen! I wonder if others do this? Anyway, the whole point of telling you this is because I did this today on my way to Subway and thought it might be fun to tell you about it. Try to follow my thought process because it can be confusing!
     So one time at Subway I ran into a woman that I used to go to church with (I still went there when this happened). While she was there she was really mean and bitchy to the staff and I was sort of embarrassed that I knew her.  I wasn't surprised as this is her M.O. a lot of the time, even with friends. Anyway, fast forward to today. I'm driving to Subway on my way to babysit and I think to myself, "What if she is there, and what if she says this to me, and I'd say this back to her, and blah blah blah".  I then decided that if I saw her and she said something sarcastic or mean like she usually does I wouldn't just smile and ignore it.  I decided that I would say something along the lines of "You are being a real bitch, have a nice day!" Mind you I no longer go to church with her so what do I have to lose?
     This is my point: there are times when I wish I could say what I really want to, even if it is not polite.  Not that I want to just speak my mind all the time and be abrasive, that is not me.  In a situation like the one above though, I'm at the point in my life when I don't want to put up with people's crap anymore.  Now this doesn't mean I'm going to be aggressive, but in a situation where someone who has no real relationship with me is being shitty I'm gonna call them on it. I think...I mean I really want to! Without feeling bad about it! LOL I guess we'll see.  Night!